February 12, 2013

I Got 99 Problems And Poop Is One

Can I just take a moment to vent?

I lost it today.

But lets rewind to yesterday.

I finish showering and I'm getting ready to pick Addie up for school while Sienna plays with toys in my room.  

I have about five minutes before I need to pick Addie up and what does Sienna do!?  
 She comes strolling into my bathroom with a nakey bum and hands me a pull up full of poop.


Poop all over her body.  Poop all over her clothes and who knows where else she has walked or sat with that poopy bum of hers.  

I throw her in the bath as fast as I can.  I throw all the clothes into the wash.  I clean up any poop I find around the room.  We hurry out the door just in time to get Addie as she's walking off the bus.  


A little bit of poop (or a lot) is not gonna get me down.  

So a couple hours later I took Addie to gymnastics.  Its always a bit of a pain to get Addie there.  Before gymnastics she hates gymnastics and tries every tactic she can think of to get out of it.  
After gymnastics she LOVES gymnastics and is so proud of whatever new trick she has learned.
So I keep sending her.  

I'm rewarded for sending her, with an hour of quiet time in the car while she's at her class.  Sienna usually falls asleep and I just sit there and enjoy the silence.  A rare thing to come by when you have small children.  

And I'm the type that needs quiet time to recharge.  I love being alone with my thoughts.  
(And my phone.  Don't leave me alone without the Internet and Instagram.) 

So anyway Addie's class was over, we drove home and Sienna was still sleeping so I pulled the car into the garage and left the door open to the kitchen where I was cooking dinner and let her keep sleeping for a few minutes.  

When I heard her wake up I opened the car door to let her out and smelled the most horrific poop smell. 
I carry her inside to change her pull up.  On my way upstairs what do I notice?  Poop all over my arm, all over my shirt, all over her.  

I bathe her.  She's screaming because the waters too hot.  Then she's screaming because the water is too cold.  Then she's tries to escape from the bath before she is clean.  Its like wrestling an angry monkey.  I.  Am.  Exhausted.
But I get fresh clothes for both of us and things are looking good. 

 Now fast forward to this morning.  

Again rushing out the door.  This time to take Addie to school and to go to Sienna's mommy and me gymnastics class.

Nobody is listening to me as I try to get everyone ready so I repeat everything about 15 times each.

"Addie please brush your teeth."
"Addie please brush your teeth."
"Come on, brush your teeth please."
"We have 5 minutes before we need to leave.  Please hurry and brush your teeth."
"Are you kidding me?  Stop doing headstands and BRUSH YOUR TEETH."

You get the point.

Finally we make it downstairs and I get the girls in the car.  As I'm buckling Sienna in I feel something wet on my hands.  I look down in horror and find more freaking poop.

Once again, all over her, all over her car seat, and all over my hands.  Her car seat was covered in poop from the day before.  It didn't even cross my mind that it would've gotten on her seat.  And if it had crossed my mind I never would have thought it would still be WET today.

I brought her inside, took off all of her clothes.  Brought the car seat inside and started taking it apart to wash it.

And I lost it.  I burst into tears.

And more tears.

And then I'm sobbing over poop.

Sometimes it feels like nothing is going my way.  Luckily Brandon works close so he rushed home and took Addie to school and gave me the clean car seat from his car.  But he left and I sat down and cried some more.

I don't have any cute little moral to this story.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing it except that it makes me feel better to put it out there.  And it makes it seem funnier when I think over the details.

But I will say it was Sienna that made me smile in the midst of my tears.  She climbed up onto my lap and in the sweetest little 2 year old voice said:

"Aww, you sad?"
"Aww mama, you don't be sad.  You da cutest girl ever!"

I got 99 problems and sweet girls ain't one.


  1. good job, mama. this validated me b/c days like this happen often for me and the four kiddos and various personalities in this house. my mom would say, 'keep your chin up.' my dad would say, 'you done good, kid.'

    good writing, too!

    1. I am positive I would lose my mind if I had four kids. I don't know how you do it! You deserve all kinds of praise for making it through a day! Good thing kids are so loveable.

  2. Wrangling poop monkeys is no fun but, your right, even at our lowest point they seem to save us in the end. So grateful for those little Stinkies! I've learned so much as a Mother.

    1. Poop monkeys...That makes me laugh out loud.