December 1, 2012

Love Is More Important Than Being Right

          
                                                                      
I usually like to write about things that make me laugh, or things that I love but I've had something on my mind that I felt needed to be said.

A couple of days ago 14 year old David Q. Phan committed suicide, not too many miles from where I live.  It was all over the news, and you can read the article here:

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=23176970&nid=148&s_cid=article-related-3


This news was heartbreaking to hear and has been weighing on my mind ever since I heard it.

Students at his junior high said that David was a kid that was always happy, and always nice to everyone.  His friends also told news outlets that he was often bullied for being gay.

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Here is a 14 year old boy whose life became so unbearably painful that he just couldn't go on.  Whether the bullying was a direct cause or not we may never know.  Whether he was gay or not, we may never know.  But the fact is, that this happens everywhere, everyday.

It's easy for us adults to wonder how kids can be so cruel to one another.  We ask ourselves what we can do to get our our kids to treat each other with more respect.  We point the finger from a supposed position of innocence crying "this bullying must stop!"

The sad truth, that I've witnessed, is that it's the adults who are often the biggest bullies.

We judge each other in the name of religion.  We judge each other based on our own political beliefs.  

I believe that God put some people on this earth for the purpose of teaching others to love.

It's harder for some of us to love those who are different.  We search for religious reasons to back up our discomfort. We foolishly tell ourselves that if our religious/political beliefs can back up our reason to hate, that it isn't hate at all.

Talking down about someone is never okay.  Talking about someones inherent traits as if they are is "evil" or "wrong" is never okay.

Our kids hear the way we speak with disgust about others who may not fit into our mold of what we think is right or wrong.  They hear and repeat the things we say.

I'm sitting here typing, with tears streaming down my face, because this means so much to me.

I  almost lost someone very close to me, on two separate occasions for reasons similar to this.  I will never forget the feeling.  The feeling of knowing that someone that I love, and love dearly, almost left this earth because their God given differences, were too much of a burden to bear.

He deeply feared that the people in his life wouldn't accept him for who he is, because of religious beliefs.  He felt, because of hateful things other adults had said, that everyone would be better off without a gay man in their life.

It's not right, and it's not fair.

No one should feel that way.

Why can't we celebrate our differences?  Why can't we love with open arms instead?

In my heart I believe that love is always the answer.  From my experiences in life, I believe that my God will never be disappointed by his children showing love, and non-judgmental acceptance of one another.

Love is more important than being right.  It's as simple as that.

I know I can do better, and I will try every single day.


Please feel free to share this post with others, and share your experiences in the comments below.  

25 comments:

  1. This is so inspiring. Thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so well said and an issue that is imperative to address, as it continues to happen. People need to understand that by reducing someone to a place of feeling wrong about who they are, worthless and utterly hopeless, they're not only being cruel, they are putting that persons life in danger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely true. And I'm sure a lot of the time they have no idea how damaging it can be, but it has to stop. The consequences are just too sad.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for your heart felt post! I know that several of my life experiences have helped prepare me to relate to a post like this. I couldn't agree more with you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amazing post! I wish more people would think like you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awesome Laurel! It's been an eye opening experience for me with kids in grade school and now one in middle school how bad the bullying is. I don't remember it being so bad when we were kids! This is one of those issues that I drill into my kids on a weekly basis. I always tell them it's more important to love someone and stick up for someone than to worry about what others will say if do. I would rather have my kids be the "nerdy nice" kid than that popular stuck up snob that doesn't care who she hurts to get to the top!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you Missy! That's awesome. And I agree, even if sticking up for others isn't the popular thing to do, I hope my kids would do it anyway also. Kindness is one of the most important things we can teach them. XOXO

      Delete
  6. Amen sister. This story is heartbreaking and even more sad that similar things happen everyday! Shame on anyone who feels they have to put someone down to build themselves up. The world would be such a better place if we would would respect and love each other more. Thanks for sharing:)

    Tina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. I'm so lucky to have friends like you who are full of love and respect!

      Delete
  7. Amen sister. This story is heartbreaking and even more sad that similar things happen everyday! Shame on anyone who feels they have to put someone down to build themselves up. The world would be such a better place if we would would respect and love each other more. Thanks for sharing:)

    Tina

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I found this blog post through a friend's facebook wall. It is truly moving! Last month I had to block a lot of political post because people were becoming so hateful with their remarks, I couldn't read them anymore. I can't even stand it when my nieces and nephews taunt each other, they start to get mean. I do my best to nip it in the bud when I'm in charge. This is an excellent topic for all adults to read because hate is learned, never inherited.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You are all over my home page!!!! Every friend who has a gay loved one (I have lots of those) has posted and reposted this!! Thanks. You said it in such a good and simple way. We need to speak out often. We need to choose love. So many people are hovering behind politics and religion and forgetting to just show love. It is sad. Thanks for this wonderful post!! You go girl. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Very inspiring, lovely post.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My brother had posted some pictures of his kids decorating thier van protesting gay marriage in California I all I could think is "what is the lesson here". Just hate. Ignorance. Not love.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thank you for this it is so true if we focus more on how others feel and how what we say to them might make them feel (despite what we feel) we would all be better for it. This poor boy and his family and many others out there dealing with depression and feeling different need someone to speak up thanks for being someone that does.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Beautiful post; sad subject - but I thought well written. Jr. High (or middle school) is the hardest part of life in my opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Beautiful post but so sad about that young boy. We do not have all the answers to life so I think love is defiantly the way to go. People always say to me "but Mormons don't like gays" but that is far from the truth. I love gays, I love all people because we are all God's children and whether or not we agree on everything doesn't matter, what matters though is that we support each other with love despite our differences. God does not discriminate and neither should we! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think you need to substitute the thought about how kids can be so cruel with the thought of how can adults be so cruel. I left the church because I was bullied (verbally, and emotionally)by an older women in front of leadership on a continuous basis, this was done in front of leadership, not only did they not do anything, they expected me to be okay with it. Wrong,

    I also asked my home teacher to stop doing something which was annoying the crap out out of me, like calling me and demanding to know where I was(i'm 47)and was told that I have severe psychological and spiritual issues which needed to be addressed. The current Branch President, nor did any of the Stake Presidency see any need to call him into a Bishopric Council, Once you are no longer a Bishop you don't have the right to act as if you still are.

    ReplyDelete
  17. How am I just now seeing this?? Laurel, you are an amazing person. I'm honored to call you friend. Rock on sweet rocker.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Have you ever read 19 minutes by Jodi Picoult? Great book that involves bullying. Xx- rachael

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, but I'll check it out. Thanks for the tip!

      Delete