The Paps Be Hounding Me

Sometimes I wish I was a celebrity so that when I got bored all I'd have to do is walk out of the house without my wedding ring on and the paparazzi would be like:

"Laurel, is your marriage on the rocks!?",

"Did Brandon leave you for another woman?",

"Who are you wearing?" (How insensitive of them to ask me something so shallow at time like that. Right? Ugh...Those paps...)

And I'd be like "I'm not saying a word until someone brings me a crunch wrap supreme and a diet coke." And then they'd make a run for the border for me and we'd have a nice conversation over 4th meal.

That'd be the life.

I'm A Lady

Brandon had to take a business trip to Vancouver BC a couple weeks ago and I had to get away. So what do you do when the stars align in such magnificent form? You go on a getaway with your husband that makes you feel crazy, sexy, and cool. Whaaaat!?

I spent most of my time alone relaxing and exploring while he was at a convention.  

I had time to remember what it's like to think my own thoughts without interruption, spend time getting dressed up, order room service while watching Beyonce's documentary, you know, basically doing things that aren't playing house.

Seriously, the best.

I cruised around those Vancouver streets without a care in the world. I felt alive and exhilarated, and dare I say hot. I mean, you guys, not only did I spend like an hour getting ready but before I went out I took a long bath AND snuck a beauty rest/power nap in.  So of course I felt good. I was practically living my own version of JLo's life.  Okay, maybe not.  But whatever.

I was feeling so confident while shopping on the ever so popular Robson street that I wasn't at all surprised when some guy approached me with some "phony" excuse to hit on me.  He was pretty good looking and really friendly.  

We were talking about where I was from and what I was doing that night as I waited for the light to turn green so I could cross the street.  All I kept thinking is "Oh man, I hope this doesn't get awkward.  Can he see my wedding ring?  Make your wedding ring more visible.  He's staring at me.  Clearly I've still got it."  

We had a brief conversation, and as the light turned green I proceeded towards the corner.  This was the moment we'd part ways nicely or I'd have to break the news to him that I am T-A-K-E-N.  Taken. 

I quickly, mentally prepared for the worst.  I'd let him down easy.  We'd laugh about it for a second then walk away.  

Those preparations were all in vain, because when he turned to me and smiled, he uttered the most disgusting words in the english language.  

You know the ones.  

He looked me in the eyes and said "Have a nice day ma'am".

"haaabaaaandyouutooo" Is all I could mutter in response.  Jibberish.

I'm lucky I didn't fall to the ground, get struck by a car and left for dead.  

Did he just call me ma'am!?  I know he didn't just call me ma'am.  He just called me ma'am.  This dude who I assumed was my peer just mistook me for a ma'am.  Clearly I'm not a ma'am.  Am I a ma'am?

Turns out he was just reaching out to a lonely old lady and I was that ma'am.  

And ya know what, I suppose thats not so bad. 

(Not really.  Don't be an idiot.  If you call me ma'am and you're older than 12 years old, you're getting punched.  Next time I'll be prepared.)

Thanks for the reality check friendly gentleman.

Am I the only one that hates the "m" word?

Family Photos

We just got our family pictures taken by Heather Telford and thought I'd share them here.  She always does such a great job that we have to have her do them for us each year.  

And yes...B's pants are bright.  

There I said it before you could.  hehe.

I Got 99 Problems And Poop Is One

Can I just take a moment to vent?

I lost it today.

But lets rewind to yesterday.

I finish showering and I'm getting ready to pick Addie up for school while Sienna plays with toys in my room.  

I have about five minutes before I need to pick Addie up and what does Sienna do!?  

 She comes strolling into my bathroom with a nakey bum and hands me a pull up full of poop.

Noooooo.  

Poop all over her body.  Poop all over her clothes and who knows where else she has walked or sat with that poopy bum of hers.  

I throw her in the bath as fast as I can.  I throw all the clothes into the wash.  I clean up any poop I find around the room.  We hurry out the door just in time to get Addie as she's walking off the bus.  

Phew...

A little bit of poop (or a lot) is not gonna get me down.  

So a couple hours later I took Addie to gymnastics.  Its always a bit of a pain to get Addie there.  Before gymnastics she hates gymnastics and tries every tactic she can think of to get out of it.  

After gymnastics she LOVES gymnastics and is so proud of whatever new trick she has learned.
So I keep sending her.  

I'm rewarded for sending her, with an hour of quiet time in the car while she's at her class.  Sienna usually falls asleep and I just sit there and enjoy the silence.  A rare thing to come by when you have small children.  

And I'm the type that needs quiet time to recharge.  I love being alone with my thoughts.  

(And my phone.  Don't leave me alone without the Internet and Instagram.) 

So anyway Addie's class was over, we drove home and Sienna was still sleeping so I pulled the car into the garage and left the door open to the kitchen where I was cooking dinner and let her keep sleeping for a few minutes.  

When I heard her wake up I opened the car door to let her out and smelled the most horrific poop smell. 

I carry her inside to change her pull up.  On my way upstairs what do I notice?  Poop all over my arm, all over my shirt, all over her.  

I bathe her.  She's screaming because the waters too hot.  Then she's screaming because the water is too cold.  Then she's tries to escape from the bath before she is clean.  Its like wrestling an angry monkey.  I.  Am.  Exhausted.
But I get fresh clothes for both of us and things are looking good. 

 Now fast forward to this morning.  

Again rushing out the door.  This time to take Addie to school and to go to Sienna's mommy and me gymnastics class.

Nobody is listening to me as I try to get everyone ready so I repeat everything about 15 times each.

"Addie please brush your teeth."
"Addie please brush your teeth."
"Come on, brush your teeth please."
"We have 5 minutes before we need to leave.  Please hurry and brush your teeth."
"Are you kidding me?  Stop doing headstands and BRUSH YOUR TEETH."

You get the point.

Finally we make it downstairs and I get the girls in the car.  As I'm buckling Sienna in I feel something wet on my hands.  I look down in horror and find more freaking poop.

Once again, all over her, all over her car seat, and all over my hands.  Her car seat was covered in poop from the day before.  It didn't even cross my mind that it would've gotten on her seat.  And if it had crossed my mind I never would have thought it would still be WET today.

I brought her inside, took off all of her clothes.  Brought the car seat inside and started taking it apart to wash it.

And I lost it.  I burst into tears.

And more tears.

And then I'm sobbing over poop.

Sometimes it feels like nothing is going my way.  Luckily Brandon works close so he rushed home and took Addie to school and gave me the clean car seat from his car.  But he left and I sat down and cried some more.

I don't have any cute little moral to this story.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing it except that it makes me feel better to put it out there.  And it makes it seem funnier when I think over the details.

But I will say it was Sienna that made me smile in the midst of my tears.  She climbed up onto my lap and in the sweetest little 2 year old voice said:

"Aww, you sad?"
"Aww mama, you don't be sad.  You da cutest girl ever!"

I got 99 problems and sweet girls ain't one.

T.G.I.F.

Ya'll need stop whatever you're doing, put on your dancing pants, and 

bust. a. move.  

because its FRIDAYYY!

Actually its Monday but who says you can't act like its not!?

This video is from like a year ago but its my fav!  

It's the perfect little peak into a typical day at our silly, dancey, dorky home.  

Love these fools!!!

Five Things

In case we aren't instagram friends here are some super crucial things you'll want to know about me, like, right now. Wink, wink.

And if we aren't following each other on insta, why the bleep not!?

Find me. Username: lolo_elle.

I got tagged by a few friends to share five random facts about myself, and here they are.

《1》When I was 15 and my parents were out of town I let some cute guys from school take my moms car for a joyride. We drove all over orange county. My cousin thought for sure I was being raped and called the police and I got in a lot of trouble.

《2》I almost drowned at the beach once and had to be rescued by the lifeguard. My life literally flashed before my eyes.

《3》I love cheese. So what.

《4》I used to tape my nose down every night in hopes it would become less piggy.

《5》I always wanted to be an actress when I grew up.

I tag whoever wants to play to share some fun facts on their blog.  Be sure to let me know if you do!

No Rule Day- Best Day Ever

A few months ago my girls and I were running our usual routine.  The usual, usually means we got up, went to the gym, cleaned, and set off on any adventures or errands that I felt like going on during the day.  

Addie, being the cute little preschooler that she was started crying.  She was frustrated and tired of following my rules all day.  I tried to take a step back and look at it from her tiny person, 5 year old point of view and I realized it would be pretty annoying having someone tell you what to do all.  Day.  Long.  

"Let's go to the gym.  Put on your shoes.  Eat another bite of broccoli.  Flush the toilet." Etc. Etc.  Yeah I'm already annoyed for her just thinking about it.  

So as I was talking to her I explained that I understood her frustration and that I had the perfect solution.  The next day there would be no rules.  We would do whatever she wanted all day.  

I didn't have any ulterior motives.  I wasn't hoping everything would go all wrong so at the end of the day she'd have a greater appreciation for my rules.  I was simply hoping she'd feel understood, and respected enough that I would allow her to take over for the day.  And also I love changing things up so I just thought it sounded like it would be tons of fun for all of us.  

So here is how the morning went.  

It started out with chocolate for breakfast, no trip to the gym, and she wore a cozy mismatched outfit.

Next up was her most creative idea of the day.  

We took the 3 dozen eggs I just bought at Costco, lined the bathtub with garbage bags, threw some swimsuits on and they smashed, stomped, and threw those eggs to their hearts content.  

They made a huge mess but it it was so worth it. They had so much fun.

Addie kept yelling "Best day ever!!!".  

Later that day she really let the power go to her head got into the spirit of the day, talking in the 3rd person and everything.  haha.  When I started doing laundry I believe she said something like "No, no, no.  It's Addie's rules and Addie says no laundry!"  Then she proceeded to throw it everywhere and jump on my bed.  My instinct was to say no, but I had to just laugh about how much of a thrill she was getting out of it.  Who am I to care about tossed laundry in a moment of pure joy!?  

Especially on "Addie's day"!?

While Sienna was napping she thought it would be fun to have a little bake off.  So of course, that's just what we did.  She got out every ingredient you could possibly use to bake cupcakes.  She got flour, sugar, and various spices all over the floor and everywhere else, and made up her own little creation.

For lunch she decided we'd go get candy at Walmart.  She grabbed a Reese's then thought the candy at Smiths sounded delicious too, so we went there, and after that it was time for some frozen yogurt for dessert. (because what would a candy lunch be without dessert!?) The rest of the day included a trip to Del taco, a playdate with her friend, watching Curious George, jumping on her bed, dress ups, and anything else her sweet little heart desired.

The day was a complete success.  She loved the freedom and had so much fun doing all the things she wouldn't normally get to do.  In fact her biggest thrills came from doing all the little things I usually remind her to do like flush the toilet.  And changing into her pajamas to go play outside was her biggest thrill.

There were so many reasons that it was good for me too.  The house was a freaking disaster at the end of the day but, ya know what, who cares!?  I had no idea how often I would normally tell her no.  Throughout the day she kept reminding me of just how creative she can be.  So often she'll come up with the most random thing to do but I'll say no because I don't want to clean up a giant mess.  I resolved to let her creativity shine a little more often and to be more flexible.

After all she'll only be a kid once and she deserved to have the BEST DAY EVER!

Pizza Hopes and Sidewalk Dreams

So I'm gonna let you guys in a little secret.  

I'm a wife, I'm a mom, I do super cool things, yeah it's true but I haven't REALLY fulfilled my life's passion yet.  

Deep, deep, way deep down inside I long to throw my headphones on, blast a little Salt N Pepa all up in my ears, slip into my sexiest sweatpants, and dance my heart out like this...

Okay so these guys don't the big bucks, but so what.  Think of the calories they burn whilst dancing.  Think of the freedom they feeling just letting it all hang out. (Hopefully just figuratively, right!?  *nudge nudge*)  Not a care in the world but getting the fine folks, the passersby if you will, to enjoy a 5 BUCK PIZZA!  

But don't get me wrong you guys, I'm not doing this job unless I have a full body costume a la this guy...

  

I mean come on, have a little dignity you non costume wearing dancers.  Hideyoself.

Do you really want everyone knowing this is what you do for a living!?  Put on a clever coverup and hit those streets.  

One of these days I'll make my dream come true.  But for now...uh who wants a job!? 

 Not me, you sillies.  

Macklemore and More

For my birthday that lovely husband of mine surprised me and stole me away for an a little staycation.

First of all B man clearly knows me well because he got me tickets to see Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.  You don't understand how my soul sings when I hear hip hop music.  (cue the angels singing...ahhh) No seriously.  I just loooove it.

I was blown away by Macklemore.  So passionate, inspiring, honest, and funny on the stage.  And it was such a fun dance party.

I got chills when they performed Same Love.  It's such a beautiful song.  I think I've listened to it like 30 times in the last two days.

Sometimes inspiration to be a better person and to see the world through someone else's eye comes from somewhere like church and other times it comes from a rap song.  Just sayin.

And while we're talking about the weekend, here are some more highlights. 

Homemade cards from sweet baby girls.  Nothing better.  

Before we left on our little staycation I was treated to breakfast at "Cafe Sugar Rush".  The blueberry pancakes with fresh whipped cream were divine, and the service was top notch.

Our first stop after we dropped our little ladies off at Sommer's house was Meditrina.  One of the best restaurants in Salt Lake.  Hands down, delicious.  Shout out to my beautiful friend Kaki for finding this gem.  When a foodie like her tells you about a restaurant, you listen and listen hard and then eat.

It snowed all night while we were at the hotel so we woke up to this beautiful winter wonderland.  

And lastly, that sneaky little Brandon, arranged to have my bestest buddy-cousin Abby take me to dinner while he orchestrated a little surprise cake party with my family.  

I felt so loved, and spoiled and appreciated all weekend.  I have the most amazing family and friends.  I love them all so much.  

What more can a girl ask for?

My Birthday: 32 Ways We Paid It Forward

My birthday is just around the corner and I don't have anything special planned, so let's reminisce about my birthday last year.  Because it was awesome.  

I wanted to share, not to brag, but to hopefully inspire someone to have a day as fulfilling as this birthday was for me.  

I can't lie.  I've been pretty blessed in my life so I decided I wanted to spend the day paying it forward with an act of kindness for each year of my life.  It turned out to be an amazing day.  I don't know how many times I cried, but I know it was at least 3 or 4.  It was SO cool to see how even the smallest things were SO appreciated.  

So here is what we did.  

We left quarters in all the gum ball machines at the grocery store.

We collected coats, hats, and scarves from some generous neighbors 

and donated a huge bin of them to the homeless shelter. 

I made fun Christmas tree waffles for my girls.

We baked muffins for the local firefighters and gave them a card thanking 

them for all they do for our community.  They were probably the sweetest and showed the most gratitude out of anyone all day.  They said thank you so many times and wouldn't let Addie

leave without all kinds of fun little trinkets.

I got up early with Addie and Sienna and let Brandon sleep in.  

Personally I think this counts as like 5 acts of kindness because I definitely like to sleep in.

  Especially when its my birthday.  

I left Operation Beautiful notes on bathroom mirrors. 

I took a break to have lunch with my mom and sister (and the Little Angel, of course). 

 They insisted on treating me to lunch

so I left our server an extra tip.

We cleaned up tons of garbage in parking lots.  

With the help of Miss Adison, we passed out lollipops to

 siblings and visitors at the childrens hospital.  

We held doors open for people.  

We donated food to the Utah Food Bank.

We delivered a little "get well" package to a sick friend. 

Left a treat and a thank you note in our mailbox for the postal worker.  

We made and delivered gift bags for all the kids with cancer at the Primary Children's Hospital.  

We wouldn't have been able to do this one without generous donations from friends.  We gave the kids coloring books, stuffed animals, nail polish, toy cars, lip gloss, bubbles, silly puddy, etc. etc.  

We weren't allowed to go into the kids rooms but the nurses were really excited to pass them out.  

This one was one of the more spontaneous of the day but also my favorite.  EVERYONE should try this sometime.  Its SO much fun.  Seriously.

We noticed a cashier at the grocery store who seemed like she could use a little pick me up. So we grabbed a few different gift cards and went to her check stand.  I told her that I was shopping for someone I didn't know very well and asked her which gift card she would want if it was for her.  She said Macy's and went on and on about why she would choose it. After  I bought it I said "oh wait, this is for you.  Merry Christmas."  She was stunned and speechless, even though it wasn't a huge amount.    She just stared at us as her eyes started to well up.  It felt so good to make her happy.

We took donuts to our favorite story tellers at the library.  

While we were at the library my cousin Abby and I left encouraging notes in the self help books.

We got a gift certificate at Walmart for Walmart and handed it to the woman behind us in line. 

We were oh so sneaky and hid dollar bills in the dollar toy section, with notes that said "For you.  Merry Christmas."

We bought toys to donate to Toys For Tots.

We tried to pay for the car behind us in line at Del Taco but after stalling for a while no one showed up behind us.  So instead we gave the cute little lady who worked there a note and little tip.  

I bought my cousin lunch.  

This one was the most meaningful to me.  My 3rd grade teacher was one of the most caring, kind, good hearted people I've ever known.  My mom was out of state in the hospital for a few months while I was in her class and she filled a little bit of that "mother" role for me.  She was always interested in how I was doing, and she'd stay and talk to me during recess when I'm sure most teachers are dying for a break.  I've thought about her over the years so I sent her a letter telling her how much I appreciated her.  

We passed out HotHands to the Salvation Army bell ringers and donate some money while we were there.  Bless their hearts, its freakin' cold out there in the winter!

We smiled at everyone we passed, and tried to be extra friendly all day.  

We donated to this cute boy who has Leukemia.  

We returned carts for shoppers at the grocery store.  Let me remind you it was FREAKIN' FREEZING so that is one that I would totally love if someone did it for me.

We went to the Laundromat and left quarters on each of the washing machines.  Those slick moves of Brandon's were a nice little bonus. 

It was a freakin' awesome birthday!  Everyone should do this at least once.  It's a lot of work but, as cheesy as it may sound, you're the one who really benefits from it all at the end of the day.  TRUTH!