Mama-hood

"Many in the work will shout that motherhood is full of small mundane tasks. And certainly, if you look only on the surface, it's true. But underneath all the secondary things moms do-cook, clean, read, chauffeur, nurse, and so on-is a mother's real occupation, and I believe the definition of true success. Webster dictionary defines occupation as the principle business of one's life. The principle business of a mothers life is nurturing her children; it is teaching, them by example, how to pass on that love thereby strengthening the world around them." -Jane Clayson Johnson

I couldn't agree with this more.

I remember when Addie was born I couldn't have imagined the amount of love I felt for her immediately. I had no idea I could love something so much.

I used to joke with my mom, before I had kids, that I didn't want a baby. I had a "plan" to give birth and let her have the baby until it was funny, which I thought was about age 2, and then she could give it back. Of course I was kidding but I truly couldn't imagine that I would love being a mom so much, especially to an "unfunny" baby.

Just to give you an idea of how deep that love for Addie was, after we brought her home from the hospital and she was maybe a few days old. Brandon and I were in our room holding her and staring at her, with baby lullabies playing in the background, and and I just started sobbing as I thought about her leaving us for college one day. And then I told Brandon and he started sobbing. It's hilarious to me now that we were already devastated that this 7(ish) day old baby would move away from us one day. A life without her was already unimaginable even though we had just "met" her.

As amazing as this bond was there was another thing about motherhood that struck me. I was busy all day. All day. Like so busy that finding a minute to go to the bathroom seemed difficult and yet at the end of the day I could barely list anything I had accomplished. I would feel guilty pretty often because I didn't feel like I was doing anything worthwhile or interesting.

Fast forward 6 years and that is still one of my biggest struggles with motherhood. I love both of my girls with all my heart but each day I clean, I do laundry, I feed my them, drive Addie to school, take them to gymnastics, change diapers, grocery shop etc. I'm busy and yet I often times feel disappointed in myself at the end of the day because all the diaper changing, cleaning and playing doesn't feel important.

I know there are so many amazing mothers who feel the same way I do. But when we look at the big picture what we're doing is so important. Amidst all the mundane tasks we are raising-teaching, nurturing, loving these little people. Actual little humans, the next generation. We have the chance to teach them what is important in life, to encourage them to follow their dreams, to show them how to love without judgement, among so many other things. I can't think of very many things more amazing than that.

Now please bless that I don't screw this up.

Family Photos

We just got our family pictures taken by Heather Telford and thought I'd share them here.  She always does such a great job that we have to have her do them for us each year.  

And yes...B's pants are bright.  

There I said it before you could.  hehe.

Sweeter Than Honey

I woke up the other day, the morning after a particularly rough day, around 7:00. Addie came rushing to my room so excited and happy.  

"Mommy, mommy I have a surprise for you!"

She guided me downstairs, down the hall, and into the dining room, where she had breakfast made and served for me.

It was the sweetest thing.

She knows I love fruit & veggie smoothies for breakfast so she made me one (that I was as little terrified to drink because it was warm and extra sludgy). She made me a get well card and she even decorated the plate with grapes and carrots.

She was so excited to show me what she had done. She went on and on about the smoothie and all the vegetables and fruits she put in it, and was so excited to point out that she even remembered to add flax seed, hemp seed, and coconut oil.

What really melted my heart is when I walked to the kitchen to do the dishes and I saw kiwi peels in the sink. I just pictured this cute little kindergartener working so hard in the kitchen, peeling fruit, decorating, and putting away the 15+ ingredients when she was done, all to make me happy.

I feel so blessed to have such a sweet, thoughtful girl to call my own.  I love her with all my heart.

I couldn't be a luckier mama.

I Got 99 Problems And Poop Is One

Can I just take a moment to vent?

I lost it today.

But lets rewind to yesterday.

I finish showering and I'm getting ready to pick Addie up for school while Sienna plays with toys in my room.  

I have about five minutes before I need to pick Addie up and what does Sienna do!?  

 She comes strolling into my bathroom with a nakey bum and hands me a pull up full of poop.

Noooooo.  

Poop all over her body.  Poop all over her clothes and who knows where else she has walked or sat with that poopy bum of hers.  

I throw her in the bath as fast as I can.  I throw all the clothes into the wash.  I clean up any poop I find around the room.  We hurry out the door just in time to get Addie as she's walking off the bus.  

Phew...

A little bit of poop (or a lot) is not gonna get me down.  

So a couple hours later I took Addie to gymnastics.  Its always a bit of a pain to get Addie there.  Before gymnastics she hates gymnastics and tries every tactic she can think of to get out of it.  

After gymnastics she LOVES gymnastics and is so proud of whatever new trick she has learned.
So I keep sending her.  

I'm rewarded for sending her, with an hour of quiet time in the car while she's at her class.  Sienna usually falls asleep and I just sit there and enjoy the silence.  A rare thing to come by when you have small children.  

And I'm the type that needs quiet time to recharge.  I love being alone with my thoughts.  

(And my phone.  Don't leave me alone without the Internet and Instagram.) 

So anyway Addie's class was over, we drove home and Sienna was still sleeping so I pulled the car into the garage and left the door open to the kitchen where I was cooking dinner and let her keep sleeping for a few minutes.  

When I heard her wake up I opened the car door to let her out and smelled the most horrific poop smell. 

I carry her inside to change her pull up.  On my way upstairs what do I notice?  Poop all over my arm, all over my shirt, all over her.  

I bathe her.  She's screaming because the waters too hot.  Then she's screaming because the water is too cold.  Then she's tries to escape from the bath before she is clean.  Its like wrestling an angry monkey.  I.  Am.  Exhausted.
But I get fresh clothes for both of us and things are looking good. 

 Now fast forward to this morning.  

Again rushing out the door.  This time to take Addie to school and to go to Sienna's mommy and me gymnastics class.

Nobody is listening to me as I try to get everyone ready so I repeat everything about 15 times each.

"Addie please brush your teeth."
"Addie please brush your teeth."
"Come on, brush your teeth please."
"We have 5 minutes before we need to leave.  Please hurry and brush your teeth."
"Are you kidding me?  Stop doing headstands and BRUSH YOUR TEETH."

You get the point.

Finally we make it downstairs and I get the girls in the car.  As I'm buckling Sienna in I feel something wet on my hands.  I look down in horror and find more freaking poop.

Once again, all over her, all over her car seat, and all over my hands.  Her car seat was covered in poop from the day before.  It didn't even cross my mind that it would've gotten on her seat.  And if it had crossed my mind I never would have thought it would still be WET today.

I brought her inside, took off all of her clothes.  Brought the car seat inside and started taking it apart to wash it.

And I lost it.  I burst into tears.

And more tears.

And then I'm sobbing over poop.

Sometimes it feels like nothing is going my way.  Luckily Brandon works close so he rushed home and took Addie to school and gave me the clean car seat from his car.  But he left and I sat down and cried some more.

I don't have any cute little moral to this story.  I'm not even sure why I'm writing it except that it makes me feel better to put it out there.  And it makes it seem funnier when I think over the details.

But I will say it was Sienna that made me smile in the midst of my tears.  She climbed up onto my lap and in the sweetest little 2 year old voice said:

"Aww, you sad?"
"Aww mama, you don't be sad.  You da cutest girl ever!"

I got 99 problems and sweet girls ain't one.

T.G.I.F.

Ya'll need stop whatever you're doing, put on your dancing pants, and 

bust. a. move.  

because its FRIDAYYY!

Actually its Monday but who says you can't act like its not!?

This video is from like a year ago but its my fav!  

It's the perfect little peak into a typical day at our silly, dancey, dorky home.  

Love these fools!!!

No Rule Day- Best Day Ever

A few months ago my girls and I were running our usual routine.  The usual, usually means we got up, went to the gym, cleaned, and set off on any adventures or errands that I felt like going on during the day.  

Addie, being the cute little preschooler that she was started crying.  She was frustrated and tired of following my rules all day.  I tried to take a step back and look at it from her tiny person, 5 year old point of view and I realized it would be pretty annoying having someone tell you what to do all.  Day.  Long.  

"Let's go to the gym.  Put on your shoes.  Eat another bite of broccoli.  Flush the toilet." Etc. Etc.  Yeah I'm already annoyed for her just thinking about it.  

So as I was talking to her I explained that I understood her frustration and that I had the perfect solution.  The next day there would be no rules.  We would do whatever she wanted all day.  

I didn't have any ulterior motives.  I wasn't hoping everything would go all wrong so at the end of the day she'd have a greater appreciation for my rules.  I was simply hoping she'd feel understood, and respected enough that I would allow her to take over for the day.  And also I love changing things up so I just thought it sounded like it would be tons of fun for all of us.  

So here is how the morning went.  

It started out with chocolate for breakfast, no trip to the gym, and she wore a cozy mismatched outfit.

Next up was her most creative idea of the day.  

We took the 3 dozen eggs I just bought at Costco, lined the bathtub with garbage bags, threw some swimsuits on and they smashed, stomped, and threw those eggs to their hearts content.  

They made a huge mess but it it was so worth it. They had so much fun.

Addie kept yelling "Best day ever!!!".  

Later that day she really let the power go to her head got into the spirit of the day, talking in the 3rd person and everything.  haha.  When I started doing laundry I believe she said something like "No, no, no.  It's Addie's rules and Addie says no laundry!"  Then she proceeded to throw it everywhere and jump on my bed.  My instinct was to say no, but I had to just laugh about how much of a thrill she was getting out of it.  Who am I to care about tossed laundry in a moment of pure joy!?  

Especially on "Addie's day"!?

While Sienna was napping she thought it would be fun to have a little bake off.  So of course, that's just what we did.  She got out every ingredient you could possibly use to bake cupcakes.  She got flour, sugar, and various spices all over the floor and everywhere else, and made up her own little creation.

For lunch she decided we'd go get candy at Walmart.  She grabbed a Reese's then thought the candy at Smiths sounded delicious too, so we went there, and after that it was time for some frozen yogurt for dessert. (because what would a candy lunch be without dessert!?) The rest of the day included a trip to Del taco, a playdate with her friend, watching Curious George, jumping on her bed, dress ups, and anything else her sweet little heart desired.

The day was a complete success.  She loved the freedom and had so much fun doing all the things she wouldn't normally get to do.  In fact her biggest thrills came from doing all the little things I usually remind her to do like flush the toilet.  And changing into her pajamas to go play outside was her biggest thrill.

There were so many reasons that it was good for me too.  The house was a freaking disaster at the end of the day but, ya know what, who cares!?  I had no idea how often I would normally tell her no.  Throughout the day she kept reminding me of just how creative she can be.  So often she'll come up with the most random thing to do but I'll say no because I don't want to clean up a giant mess.  I resolved to let her creativity shine a little more often and to be more flexible.

After all she'll only be a kid once and she deserved to have the BEST DAY EVER!

My Birthday: 32 Ways We Paid It Forward

My birthday is just around the corner and I don't have anything special planned, so let's reminisce about my birthday last year.  Because it was awesome.  

I wanted to share, not to brag, but to hopefully inspire someone to have a day as fulfilling as this birthday was for me.  

I can't lie.  I've been pretty blessed in my life so I decided I wanted to spend the day paying it forward with an act of kindness for each year of my life.  It turned out to be an amazing day.  I don't know how many times I cried, but I know it was at least 3 or 4.  It was SO cool to see how even the smallest things were SO appreciated.  

So here is what we did.  

We left quarters in all the gum ball machines at the grocery store.

We collected coats, hats, and scarves from some generous neighbors 

and donated a huge bin of them to the homeless shelter. 

I made fun Christmas tree waffles for my girls.

We baked muffins for the local firefighters and gave them a card thanking 

them for all they do for our community.  They were probably the sweetest and showed the most gratitude out of anyone all day.  They said thank you so many times and wouldn't let Addie

leave without all kinds of fun little trinkets.

I got up early with Addie and Sienna and let Brandon sleep in.  

Personally I think this counts as like 5 acts of kindness because I definitely like to sleep in.

  Especially when its my birthday.  

I left Operation Beautiful notes on bathroom mirrors. 

I took a break to have lunch with my mom and sister (and the Little Angel, of course). 

 They insisted on treating me to lunch

so I left our server an extra tip.

We cleaned up tons of garbage in parking lots.  

With the help of Miss Adison, we passed out lollipops to

 siblings and visitors at the childrens hospital.  

We held doors open for people.  

We donated food to the Utah Food Bank.

We delivered a little "get well" package to a sick friend. 

Left a treat and a thank you note in our mailbox for the postal worker.  

We made and delivered gift bags for all the kids with cancer at the Primary Children's Hospital.  

We wouldn't have been able to do this one without generous donations from friends.  We gave the kids coloring books, stuffed animals, nail polish, toy cars, lip gloss, bubbles, silly puddy, etc. etc.  

We weren't allowed to go into the kids rooms but the nurses were really excited to pass them out.  

This one was one of the more spontaneous of the day but also my favorite.  EVERYONE should try this sometime.  Its SO much fun.  Seriously.

We noticed a cashier at the grocery store who seemed like she could use a little pick me up. So we grabbed a few different gift cards and went to her check stand.  I told her that I was shopping for someone I didn't know very well and asked her which gift card she would want if it was for her.  She said Macy's and went on and on about why she would choose it. After  I bought it I said "oh wait, this is for you.  Merry Christmas."  She was stunned and speechless, even though it wasn't a huge amount.    She just stared at us as her eyes started to well up.  It felt so good to make her happy.

We took donuts to our favorite story tellers at the library.  

While we were at the library my cousin Abby and I left encouraging notes in the self help books.

We got a gift certificate at Walmart for Walmart and handed it to the woman behind us in line. 

We were oh so sneaky and hid dollar bills in the dollar toy section, with notes that said "For you.  Merry Christmas."

We bought toys to donate to Toys For Tots.

We tried to pay for the car behind us in line at Del Taco but after stalling for a while no one showed up behind us.  So instead we gave the cute little lady who worked there a note and little tip.  

I bought my cousin lunch.  

This one was the most meaningful to me.  My 3rd grade teacher was one of the most caring, kind, good hearted people I've ever known.  My mom was out of state in the hospital for a few months while I was in her class and she filled a little bit of that "mother" role for me.  She was always interested in how I was doing, and she'd stay and talk to me during recess when I'm sure most teachers are dying for a break.  I've thought about her over the years so I sent her a letter telling her how much I appreciated her.  

We passed out HotHands to the Salvation Army bell ringers and donate some money while we were there.  Bless their hearts, its freakin' cold out there in the winter!

We smiled at everyone we passed, and tried to be extra friendly all day.  

We donated to this cute boy who has Leukemia.  

We returned carts for shoppers at the grocery store.  Let me remind you it was FREAKIN' FREEZING so that is one that I would totally love if someone did it for me.

We went to the Laundromat and left quarters on each of the washing machines.  Those slick moves of Brandon's were a nice little bonus. 

It was a freakin' awesome birthday!  Everyone should do this at least once.  It's a lot of work but, as cheesy as it may sound, you're the one who really benefits from it all at the end of the day.  TRUTH!